me blog

Trains

2011-11-20T11:59:00.001+11:00

I worked in Parramatta for a few months this year, travelling everyday by train to and from Macdonaldtown and Parramatta stations via Redfern. In the evenings the newer trains with their unspoilt windows displayed people in crowded carriages in sparkling detail. I started taking photos and painted these two.

Macdonaldtown Station, Sydney

Redfern Station

Vale Lola Edwards

2011-08-06T16:34:00.002+10:00

A stunningly beautiful, clever and courageous woman has left us. On Monday 1 August, Lola Edwards passed away, before any of her loved ones were ready for that loss. She was only 64. A victim of our Government's attempt at genocide of Aboriginal Australians, Lola was stolen at the age of 4 from Tingha and not for the promised trip to the circus, but to be placed into the Cootamundra Domestic Training Home for Aboriginal Girls. She was a "Coota girl" and there were several others at the gathering in her honour at Springwood Civic Centre yesterday.

I met Lola years ago through my contact with the Community Justice Centres (NSW Attorney General's Department). Director Deborah Sharp had employed Bill Pritchard who was married to Lola, and Lola became an important part of the CJCs through Bill. And how lucky we all were for that to have happened. Lola and Bill educated us about Aboriginal cultures and the impact of what our Government had dished out in the name of protection.

Those two were a true love story. Lola and Bill. So funny and clever and generous with their energy. I'm so glad that Lola was in the parliament to hear the Labor Government's apology to the the stolen generations, that she got that before signing off. I'm also glad that she retrieved the stolen Albert Namatjira canvas that he had painted for and presented to the girls in Cootamundra home. If you follow this link, you'll see Lola being hugged in the 3rd photo:

http://www.nma.gov.au/shared/libraries/attachments/atsip_newsletter/goree_april_2010/goree_april_2010/files/32916/GOREE_Apr10_p13.pdf

and there's more here http://www..nsw.gov.au/state-archives/resources-for/indigenous-people/cootamundra-girls-farewell-na records mitjira-painting

Lola's telling of this story is something I'll never forget! The service yesterday was full of stories spanning the decades, told by Dulcie Flowers, prof. Peter Read from Link-up, members of her birth family and from Bill's family, work colleagues and others from the congregation. Her story was also told there though the words and emotion of Archie Roach's singing "They Took the Children Away". Her legacy is very, very big and she will missed.

Read Lola's story in her own words here: http://www.stolengens.org.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=61:lola-edwards-story&catid=40:memories&Itemid=74

Paintings of Bronwyn and Charles' Wedding and Wednesday

2011-06-19T20:47:00.001+10:00

Bronwyn and Charles married in April 2009 in a joyful event at Bondi beach. I attempted to capture the joy and fun in this painting. I'll include my first draft so you can see the progress I made. Progress? Hang on, my first draft is met with screams of laughter from everyone who knows the happy couple. It is a shocker! I was heavily involved in True Blood at the time... and I cannot part with it.

Wednesday performs each year in the incredible Danceability concert, last year held at the Uni of NSW. There are the little kiddies performances, through to late teems (or possibly a little older) and it is a hoot. The costumes are terrific too. Here is painting of Wednesday on stage at the conclusion of the concert. With her is her "diddy" John and on the floor below, her mother Trish.

Bake-Off 2011 Theme: New Zealand

2011-06-19T03:24:00.002+10:00

Despite this year's theme being New Zealand, there was not one earthquake or sheep reference in the great annual bake-off contest. We were not too PC though to have a speech by Julia Gillard accompanying the winning entry - the amazing and fantastic map of New Zealand hand painted by water colourist Felicity Scott. See the sideways movie for the speech!
Last year's winner, Paul Hoyne, made the invitation complete with cross stitching and subtle reference to earthquakes. The entries ranged from fine art to the ludicrous, as you'll see from the snaps. Awards acknowledged both ends of the spectrum.

Original bake-off judge, Michael Clarke presented the awards with me. We acknowledged the great bakers of NZ by having two categories this year: cakes and slices/biscuits. Runners up to Felicity were:

Cakes:

Eliane and Andrew

Second place - "As the Crowe Flies" - Eliane and Andrew

Monica Fernon

Third place - "Long White Cloud" - Monica Fernon

Dorothy

Annie Owens

Slices:
First prize - "50 Ways of Saying Fabulous" honoured judge, author and favourite New Zealander Graeme Aitken - the idea was Jo-anne Schofield's. She was going to be away and it was too good to deprive, so the baker was me! The slice was divine, if I do say so myself, but just quietly, I think we won thanks to the kiddy vote.

Second place was a tie - Annie Owens for "Even in chaos there is order" and Dorothy for "13 Afghans"

John Sandow

Third place went to John Sandow for his framed "Jackson Pollock Rotorua".

A crowd favourite

Trish Hoyne

Bronwyn Carey

Paul Hoyne

Rosemary Pryor

Susan Woodland mid shot

Annie Owens and Bronwyn Carey

Trish Hoyne

Christine Lloyd and Michael Clarke

The Winners

Bake-Off 2010 - Theme: Politics

2011-06-19T00:19:00.000+10:00

How can I write about Bake-off 2011 when I haven't honoured the amazing 2010 event?

With historical events and the dramas that politics offered leading up to the June long weekend in 2010, it is no wonder the entries were stunningly good and hilarious. The voting was preferential and luckily we had the experience of Annie Owens and Meredith to see to it that the count was accurate.

The winning entry was a knock out - baked by Paul Hoyne with props and featuring a recording of Peter Garrett singing "How can you sleep when your beds are burning?" The cake was accompanied by a heavy political campaign and the hard work paid off.

Other award winners were:
"Reds under the Beds" - Trish Hoyne - second place
"Banana Republic" - Bronwyn Carey - third place
"We Will Decide" - Jo-anne Schofield - 1st on second preferences
"Anthony Almondeasy and Caramel Tebbutt" - Rosemary Pryor - Highly Commended (Flattery - Rumour has it that was copied some months later at another Bondi event).

Felicity Scott's entry was also amazing - Kristina Keneally in a working puppet form! I loved "The Left Wing" and John Sandow's "Resources Super Profits Tax" cake. "Unity and Separation" was fantastic in its detail and gave the event an international standing. Bob Brownies were everywhere and electrical wires protruded from Penny Bietzl's entry which, like the winning cake, made reference to burning bats. Polly's Pollies were deliciously recognisable... and the list goes on. Here are some pics for your enjoyment:

Concerts

2011-05-29T01:52:00.046+10:00

Tonight I had the great pleasure of spending the evening with Dee Dee Bridgewater in the Concert Hall at the Opera House. It was her tribute to Billie Holiday but I suspect Dee Dee is a very different kettle of fish to Billie. Dee Dee is full of joy for a start. She entered stage right, bald and beautiful, sporting very lengthy false eyelashes that we were invited to admire immediately. And how could we not? With that she set the tone for performance - it was a performance and we loved it. She was funny and sang well and was ably supported by her band - they were all playful. At 61 today, she is a woman doing what she loves to do and with that comes a vitality and, yes, joy. It would've been a bit hard for Billie emanate joy with her litany of misfortune and cruel obstacles.

I was sorry Dee Dee didn't do "Crazy He Calls Me" but glad she didn't do "Strange Fruit". She wouldn't have done it justice. In the end she ordered us out of the hall with James Brown's "Get Up (I Feel Like Being a )Sex Machine", which was an excellent way to end the night.

Only a few weeks earlier I had been in the same venue for an unforgettable night with Herbie Hancock. We had front row seats in the bay overhanging the stage and the seats couldn't have been better, nor could the performance. He was sensational. Unforgettable. Again, someone doing what they love doing is inspirational and right.

The Parliament/Funkadelic concert tragically clashed with my visit to Broken Hill at Easter and I missed them. I had seen George Clinton in concert before, so I knew that I was going to be missing something special. Never mind. Next time (fingers crossed for one).

Back in February, Gabe and I loved the Kool and the Gang concert at the Enmore Theatre. Roy Ayers shared the billing. Fantastic! All appearing on that stage that night were a knock out.

IWD 2011 at the Basement, Sydney

For International Women's Day Rosemary and I went to the Basement expecting a comedy night but got a series of women singers instead. They were pretty funny, it was a bit mad and a good night. I enjoy those concerts with many performers doing only a couple of songs each - they give their best and are gone before you can get distracted and notice that you are uncomfortable in your seat or thirsty or something.

Supersede

The same thing happened 2 weeks ago when I accompanied John Sandow to the Town Hall hotel in Newtown for a series of performances with the theme of post Beatles. All bands chose their favourite Lennon or McCartney or Harrison songs. John's band, "Supersede" were stunningly good with Gene Mitchell up front and John on keyboards. I had "Silly Love Songs" stuck in my head for days afterwards.

Speaking of Sydney bands, in February The Skolars reformed and played in Petersham! It was so good! Matthew Myerscough looks the same as he did 20 years ago, as does lead singer Madeline Chase. There we were again - John, Victoria, Kevin and me together in the audience like no years had passed at all. We knew all the words. Here is the link to one song I filmed and the others are up there with it on You Tube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJBuig6gylA&feature=related

Samurai Trash

And, Samurai Trash reformed for a concert at the Excelsior Hotel in March and it was good to watch Jerome McClintock and Mark Foster on stage again after all these years. I posted some footage of the concert onto You Tube. Here's Samurai Stomp ... sound isn't great... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asuEi6C8m1U

But perhaps the highlight so far this year has been Irma Thomas at the Factory in Marrickville. Gabe and I were amazed as she performed according to the desires of the audience. She had the an arch folder stuffed to the brim with lyrics to supplement her memory. Again, more evidence that doing the things you love to do is right. Irma Thomas is 70 and mighty powerful and yes... a joy.

And it is only May.

Vale Glenda Duncan

2011-03-14T01:20:00.001+11:00

Art teacher Tania Castaing delivered the awful news that one of our class members had died in November last year. Beautiful Glenda Duncan. RIP. No more fabulous, whimsical paintings from Glenda. I wish I had snapped more pics of her with her joyful paintings. Her red ones were amazing. Oh Glenda! It is just so damn sad. What a shame.

Project Art - January

2011-02-22T19:30:00.002+11:00

I amended our childhood home painting when my sister Sandra came to see me in January. I should add a bit of height to the almond tree too and adjust the angle of the side garden but that'll do for the moment.

In mid January teachers, Tania and Sam ran a weekend workshop. The model and set were beautiful. I do have to soften her face a little, and redden the nipple that I missed, but apart from that I'm pretty pleased with it.

Then I worked on this Guggenheim that was commissioned more than a year ago. I think I'll make that my last Guggenheim painting - 3 is enough.

London and Madrid Legs

2011-02-21T00:40:00.003+11:00

So that was NY - and then I went to London...

Nup. No good. Expensive and unloving, heartless, cold and bloody dangerous. We were nearly burnt to death at the hands of some fuckheads. Actually, Kevin was pretty sweet really, but his mates were completely unacceptable, especially when, as I was attempting to rescue them from the plastic ridden flames, I was told that if I knew what was good for me, I would go upstairs (ie. above the licking flames), get into bed and go to sleep!!! Oh. They were intoxicated and all alpha and stand-over. Foul. They just picked Kevin up and inverted him when he was trying to persuade them to my point. I just backed out and stood on the street, in the ice and snow. It was 4am. Bastards. Anyway, we did survive. Me and Sara and Nate. Sara was livid. Nate was in stunned silence and disbelief. And I was dealing with my eyes which just wouldn't stop weeping. Like, for days.

It wasn't all bad in London. The galleries and museums are free and fantastic. The snow storm was magnificant and muted everything so beautifully. It was very pretty. Sara and Nate were a joy, Christmas day was bountiful and we downloaded great stuff to watch together under the doona on the couch... in the post fire stench and with left eye weeping.

We ran away to Madrid. Now that was a good idea! What a great city! Cheap and loving, heartfelt, warm and incredibly safe. My Irish pal Mary from my 1985 nine month backpacking Europe adventure, joined us for a few days. She is very very funny. We roamed around Madrid via galleries, restaurants (all serving lamb chops!), the ballet and nightclubs. She was gone by NYE, which we spent in the Plaza del Sol with squillions of extremely friendly Spaniards and with the mythical grapes in the ready for the stroke of midnight. The funny thing was, that there was no stroke as such. In fact, there was nothing to mark the new year at all. It couldn't have been much more opposite a Sydney new year's marking. No yobbos, no countdown and not a single cracker! We looked at a watch and saw that it was 12:03am and laughed. We dropped our grapes into a bin and found a bar.

Back in London I rediscovered Gudang Garams, which was bad but fun. It was also good to break the journey home with another couple days in New York to top up and ready myself for Sydney 2011.

4am, but no smoke out here

movies with Nate and Sara

Madrid celebration

YUM!

Nate, Sara and Mary

He actually hated the ballet

NYD - 12:03am

NYE

A walk on the Heath

New York holiday

2011-02-19T15:35:00.000+11:00

I would fit a lot more into this holiday if I could make it out before lunchtime each day. Today we made it to the Whitney for the Edward Hopper exhibition. It was just great. There were paintings by others from his school on exhibit too. I'm looking at the paintings with a more technical eye these days and have noticed that artists often have a bad time with hands or noses or ears... comforting!

I enjoyed revisiting MoMA yesterday. Beautiful and exciting as was the art on show at the Met last week. It is staggering that private collections are made up of the most famous pieces. Thankfully there is a culture here of leaving them to galleries, or at least allowing them to be exhibited. I have some serious art and museum visiting to do over the next week.

And music and shows. Fela! was a fantastic theatre explosion of drumming, dancing and exuberant, passionate storytelling re Fela Kuti. Hours of gorgeous music and fantastic dancing. Loved it. A day or two later I was loving Syl Johnson's concert at Southpaw in Brooklyn. Thankfully there are people who are bringing back to the stage soul performers from the 70's. Syl is 74 years of age and a great performer. I would have loved the concert even more had he performed "just my luck"!

Juxtaposed was the perplexing concert by Rufus Wainwright. I just didn't get him - what's the story there? At times I had the feeling that I was an addition to an intimate dinner party post a traumatic event in this stranger's life - the loss of his mother to cancer and some kind of reconciliation with his father were alluded to on the assumption that we all knew the history already, because we were his close friends. He was just cluing us in to the latest because we hadn't seen each other for a while. Martha came on too, with her baby to induct the next generation of Wainwrights to the stage, as has been their birthright... Her contribution was great, if also a little strange. I'm glad I went.

Another highlight was seeing Erika and Rebecca who were delightful and hard working student interns with me in Sydney in 2008. Erika and I spent the day shopping on her aunty's Macy discount card and Becky and I caught up at a jazz concert.

So much more to come. December is a staggeringly good time to visit this city.

Post script:
Travelling with a pile of close friends made for a great holiday. Thanks to Bronwyn we attended the international jump rope championships held in the famous Apollo Theatre in Harlem. Japan rightly scooped the prize pool. We were all there with bellies full of soul food - served in portions suitable for 4 people but dished up for one...

Jo and Lisa nailed some great wine bars for us including the one on the upper east side where Bronwyn, Diane and I joined them on the last night in NYC. A sensational event shared with people I can name from their places - Long Island, Georgia, Colorado, France, Scotland... all in fine voice. The Gen Y bar maid did a terrific job in locating boomer or so music for us all. I'll paint that night one day.

John and Trish added to the theatre and music choices we made, which we all sensational - Randy Weston in particular was a very special treat. And bless Charles for accompanying me to the Bronx for a tooth extraction.

And... for a special acknowledgement, enjoyment of the trip was made possible thanks to our puffer coat purchases.

And for the record, I did beat Luke in a running race, despite his version to the contrary.

Puffer coats

Erika

Rebecca

A reference to the Rufus wainwright concert

At home on W87th - Trish, Bronwyn and Luke

John

Syl Johnson

Enjoying the Double Dutch Jump Rope event

Me and Bronwyn with make-up

Last night - with Long Island, Colorado and Georgia, Scotland and France at rear with Gen Y

Oils it is

2010-11-30T00:57:00.000+11:00

This year I tried other mediums. I had started with acrylics and was enjoying that. I had produced a few paintings (some shown in earlier blog entries) and really enjoyed painting this one of Hoi Anh in Vietnam.

But teacher Tania was urging me towards oils. So I chose oil for my second Guggenheim. It was such a different experience and I found the slowness a bit hard going at first. It takes ages to dry! But I was really happy with the results. I had a bit of fun with pictures in the gallery - I had been impressed with the Rothko's at MoMA in the September 2009.

I also decided to paint my birthday party invitation in oils and gave myself a few months to prepare it. 10 years earlier, Michaels Broad and McCabe had produced a great party invitation for me. The event was a trip to Broken Hill. What a great adventure it was - my funny family, Mutawintje, underground, Silverton and the Mundi Mundi Plains, Menindee with the Copi Hollow / Sunset Strip contrast and loads of other attractions that BH has on offer (did we do the Sundown Trail?). And then there was the party at the Trades Hall - home to much Ferry Family history. Swelteringly hot. Great fun. Monica and I sang (as per our DSS days). All the neighbours were there and cousins came from away. Patricia was there.

Back to the invitation... 2000

2010...I needed something to link the two events....

What I hadn't predicted when I started the birthday party painting, was the diminishing sense of joy I felt as the days rolled towards November. It is complicated. I wasn't happy about it. True to this feeling, I aborted party plans.

I did, however, continue with the New York project - born the year before on learning that my birthday and Thanksgiving intersected. Bronwyn, Charles, Luke, John, Trish, Jo, Lisa and Diane plus NY Aussie pal Karen will be on the NY adventure in December. More on that later.

I attended a one-day watercolours workshop in June, on the day that my sister Sandra's best buddy and our family friend Joanne, finally succumbed to cancer. I received the call as I was leaving for the workshop. I went from the class to the post office to send this effort to my cut sister (R) and she was pretty pleased with it (I have to acknowledge the instructor's input here - I wasn't alone with it):

From watercolours to pastels. Whereas watercolours require good drawing skills, precision and are unforgiving, pastels can be just one giant gorgeous blur. For one who isn't so hot at drawing, pastels were a relief. I dived into them and loved it. That said, I'm finding it hard to do the finer work I've needed for the picture of Rosemary's father, Doug. I'll keep at it but in the meantime, here is one of a model from the class:

I decided to go back to acrylics and produced this painting of our family home. I am yet to tone the grass down a bit - afterall it was much more faded than that - yellow even. Bleached from the searing sun in summer. The only lush green was near a dripping tap and we had to have the mint growing there.

I've been commissed to produce a few more of these for my sentimental friends over there. It won't happen probably. We can just share it.

Painting in acrylics again was great for the immediate dry and quick fix of mistakes. On the downside, it can dry too quickly and to a different colour than the one you had intended. It is flat and not at all luscious. It is easier.

I decided to paint Marie's Guggenheim commission in oil. And I'm glad I did. It is so much more fun and complex and interesting. It is rich and bright and looking pretty beautiful at this, the half way mark. If Marie gives the nod, I'll post a pic when it is ready.

I'm loving the oil. I think I'll hang here for a next little while. Yes, oils it is.
(and charcoal and pastels....?). Looking forward to 2011 classes.

Broken Hill trip

2010-03-22T19:10:00.003+11:00

The St. Patrick's race meeting is a good weekend to go to Broken Hill because there is a chance some other family members living away will travel there too.

If I don't get to BH once a year I don't have any direct contact with my sister Linda. Linda's autism and intellectual disability means that our communication is mainly by piggy back. Yes, I will have to forever retain the ability to bob down, and get back up with Linda on my back and then to run around. At 47, her lust for this activity is undiminished. I must say, I'm in no hurry to part with it either. The medication stops the uncontrolled laughter but that she enjoys the ride is still clear. She is just gorgeous, our little Linda Gay. Mum always sang to her, inserted her name into songs or made them up, and we have continued the tradition. Her recognition of them makes us happy.

Linda was a little bit different this trip. More calm. When I arrived she came up to me, but years of experience has taught me that, no, it isn't for an embrace, it is because you are standing between her and that damn gate that keeps her from your car. She LOVES a ride in the car, a love second only to chocolate. This time, however, it was for an embrace!!! And she spent a lot of time gazing deeply into my eyes. Susan said she has been doing that for a while. Sandra was visiting from Adelaide and had the same experience. That is really different from the past, where no eye contact was the order of the day. Curious.

The other institution I visit is Aruma Lodge. But no more. Sadly, our beautiful next door neighbour throughout our childhood, Lorna Stackpool, died on Thursday night. The news came through just as I was heading off visit her. Sob! Lorna and mum were terrific friends. They were a bit on the naughty side really - I'd regularly return from school and hear mum's laughter coming from over at "Stacky's" - they'd been drinking beer and smoking Capstans together all day, again! Lorna with the lilac coloured hair, sometimes a change to pale pink. She was gentle and pretty and we loved her. Here's a snap of her with son John, who is the spitting image of his father Jack. Lorna is holding a photo that Susan and I made for her from an earlier visit - just to jig her failed memory as to who we were. I'd ducked in to the toilet while Susan continued to her room. When I arrived, Lorna had an awkward moment and then: "do you two know each other?" We had a great afternoon together as usual and with really no memory to speak of, Lorna declared that it was the best day of her life. It was pretty special for us too, eh Susan? Pics: our house and Lorna's house.

Phillip and Katie arrived with our newest family member, Zayden - 4 months old and very cute. However, I have struck him from the will. He'd be thrilled and all cute until his eyes alighted on me and then he'd just scream! Over the weekend, he actually spent a couple of hours on my lap, dancing away to the music, completely oblivious to the fact that I was right there. It was hilarious, I'd turn him to face me and he'd go off, I'd face him away and he'd be all happy again. Here he is with grandmother Rossy and Katie. And later with great Auntie Susan.

And here is Sandra dressed for St. Patties, just after she'd been to her favourite fish and chip shop - Bernels. It is really good. Don't miss it if you are ever in the Hill. Sandra arrived with her canvasses - my interest in painting has brought her back to it, which is great. Here is one of Sandra's painting:

Another highlight was a visit to the neighbour on the other side, Joyce to say hello, watch the cricket and to collect some more geranium clippings for my garden back in Sydney. Joyce's garden is divine and always has been. The geraniums she gave me a couple of years back are going well but could do with a bit more direct sunlight. I'll plant these clippings in a sunnier spot. Here is Joyce in her 1950's groovy lounge room.

I enjoyed teaching my school pal Cheryl a bit of computer stuff and catching up with her and Sharon.

BH is always a laugh. My sisters are very funny. The winning moment this time was in watching Susan and Paul's three hens just fall in behind Susan (now aka mother hen) as soon as she entered the yard. Where she went, "the girls" followed. She cries that it is because she feeds them, but we all know that there is a little mother-daughter bond thing happening there... I have a re-enactment on film but it wouldn't load for some reason.

Portraiture Class

2010-03-14T23:45:00.003+11:00

The full day workshop on drawing faces was great fun despite the hangover from Jo's sensational wine tasting night. I polished off a berocca and a rollie with neighbour Jane before hitting the sack. Was late to class but managed to pay attention to teacher Sam enough to produce these.

Hoynes in Law

2010-03-12T18:29:00.002+11:00

I had to give up on the quest for accuracy and just let it be this. Bronwyn named it. She is clever.

7

2010-03-06T14:23:00.003+11:00

It has finally happened, Wednesday is 7. Trish is working on her Shaun the Sheep cake and John is hopefully swimming her enough so that after dinner and all the excitement of the cake and candles, she'll be able to settle into a lovely deep sleep. And I will be able to too. No cries of "move over to your side" or "sshh..." or "keep your feet to yourself" tonight.

I'll never forget another bed sharing birthday... it was the middle of the night, dark, quiet, wriggle wriggle, shuffle, a little breath at my ear and then a soft whisper "I'm 4".

PS. Shaun couldn't make it afterall.

Februaries

2010-02-22T22:22:00.008+11:00

I have thought about the last two Februaries and I am wondering about the previous many ones. Are they always associated with big changes? On the weekend I wrote a letter to the Organisation's head seeking a redundancy package... and I've been in slight trepidation and quiveryness ever since. I have been contemplating it for more than a year but have not had the courage to seek one.

Shoulder good!

2010-02-16T22:00:00.001+11:00

Well, thanks to Alan at the Inner West Osteopathy and yoga, I've been able to delay my shoulder surgery - hopefully forever. It feels strong and has improved and isn't aching much at all at the moment. We'll see what happens when I get into painting a lot which I'm planning to do in March. Surgeon Petchell is not as confident as I in the strength of the shoulder - he's on stand-by!

The Great Cake Bake-off Tradition

2010-01-30T01:44:00.004+11:00

The cake bake-off is a great annual tradition. It started in 2000 - it was Good Friday and I had decided not to go to Broken Hill for Easter. Bronwyn, Trish and I were at a loose end and decided to bake cakes. Chef Michael agreed to be the judge and was joined by Richard, visiting from Melbourne and cake lover Graeme.

Bronwyn baked a banana cake bearing an Easter cross (she took out the Innovation category award), Trish presented a carrot (prize awarded for decoration) and my cake was something I created using Gay DeFranceschi from Broken Hill's butter cake base and adding in apricots, coconut, yoghurt, maple syrup... and the icing was just divine! The cake was AMAZING and it won the day - it was a special cake. I've never been able to repeat it.

The whole day was immense fun. It was fun making the cakes. It was fun watching the judges being very serious about the categories, measures and ratings. Afterwards, all sick on cake, I loaded Bronwyn, Trish and Richard up with the ample remnants for their combi trip to Tea Gardens. They wanted to throw up at the thought but were grateful to have them later when Richard's much loved combi broke down.

From 2003, it became an ANZAC Day tradition sometimes fraught with controversy and occasionally with extra entrants (much to the judges horror). The judges change but have always have Graeme at their centre. The core entrants are:
Bronwyn
Trish
Rosemary
John
Jo-anne
Annie
Susan
Moyra
Me.

2003 - Hosted by Jo-anne. Trish won for her port wine macadamia sensation.

2004 - Enrique's influence on this annual event was a real treat for us all. The Cubans turned out in force and we moved the show into the little park next door, complete with BBQ, rum and cool grooves. When the salsa started, the park turned into something reminiscent of a Cuban nightclub. Couples moving and twirling. It was the middle of the day and it was FANTASTIC! Charles did a bit of filming ... I must follow that up and see if I can add in a clip here. Oh...and the cakes were divine. Susan's beautiful upside down pear cake won and Rosemary's chocolate number took out the coveted Children's Award.

2005 - held at John and Trish's home. A record never to be challenged if the still reeling judges have any say in it, Bronwyn beat a field of 21 bakers with her 21 egg cake. The theme that year was almond meal.

2006 - Susan - a gorgeous profiterole cake took out the prize and whoever baked the chocolate cake took out the kiddies award. Rosemary? We won't mention Wednesday's entry, thank you Trish. Twisted and sick.

2007 - My place with Moyra winning soundly - the theme was orange. Great little party that day - I remember it was raining and the kids came running in with news that my dead-behind-the-eyes neighbour had yelled at them for having fun on the landings. She had used the "F" word!!! (which, of course, they had never heard before....)

2008 - No cake bake-off. Too many other challenges happening

2009 - Bronwyn declined our offer to produce 8 wedding cakes for her and Charles so we settled for it as the theme for the cake bake-off. Susan took out the award AGAIN - a very delicious cake but was it baked??? No! Controversy! An outrage! OK - we had to concede that it was divine and extraordinarily pretty with petals. Susan has deemed that 7 year old daughter Polly (pink headband) can enter in her place in 2010. But...there will be no relaxing there... when asked what cake she was planning to bake for the contest her reply was "I don't know yet, I have to wait to see what the theme is..." O-OH!

A collection of snaps from 2009's event - so hard to organise here. Let's see. The cakes - everything from beautiful to bawdy and my personal favourite - Annie's "I give you all my fish". The judges this year were Graeme, Paul and Narelle.

There's Lihua and Meredith with me; Bronwyn, Moyra and Jo-anne; Annie and Meredith; the judges and 2010's challenger to watch there with the pink headband. Is that Susan there working judge Graeme? What can Mike report? Bronwyn ... and how do I get these pics to line up sensibly? John and Gabrielle and Trish with inevitable cup of tea in the group shot with Miss Natasha and Miss Ella at each end of the bench. ... oh, for fuck's sake... where has the group shot gone??? I'll load it again...here it is...

Rosemary with our double-breasted entry; then with Sandrine only days before the delivery of Marielou and ... cool t-shirt Michael.

Uluru and Alice

2010-01-28T23:11:00.001+11:00

Gabrielle's email from Melbourne this evening reminded me of the trip I made to Uluru last July. I have to agree with her - it is so beautiful out there in the desert and a must if you can afford it. Jo, Rosie, Miss Ella and I really took to Alice too. Great place! It was good to visit the galleries and cafes and surrounding sights and to catch up with Guillaume and Den again.

Trish had no sooner finished bragging to John that she had managed to avoid the Aboriginal art thing, when I presented Wednesday with a dear little painting. It's up.

Here is a pic of the four of us on holidays and a bird that always spooks me when it comes up as my screen saver.

Back on the Band Wagon

2010-01-25T16:40:00.000+11:00

Had a fill today - basically I got the 1ml put back in with a plan for how to avoid horrible gastric reflux and oesophageal spasms in the future. I'm back on liquids for a few days, small servings thereafter and no food or liquid 2 hours before bed. They say 3-4 hours but I know I'd be lying there thirst fretting if that were the case. I'm a big fan of water! Anyway, I'll see how that goes. I have gained a couple of kilos over the last month - a combination of loosened band giving no real restriction, christmas parties and plenty of alcohol. Of course, the real culprit is the undisciplined person at the wheel. The alcohol consumption has gone back to normal but I have been overly enjoying the lack of food restriction.

Yoga.. I'm fancying my deltoid muscles - they are just starting to develop, they are coming along nicely - a reward for that dog position over and over again. My shoulders have become much stronger. I'm stronger all over. Tighter.

Wednesday and I had a great night together last night. She slept for 10 hours, prodding me on and off with her very pointy elbows (oww!), knees and feet but that disturbance to my sleep is preferable to the long battle we have when I try to get her to sleep in her own bed. And I always lose. It is a win-oww-win compromise... actually, all the compromise is on my part... make that a win-oww-lose!

Coaching

2010-01-23T18:29:00.002+11:00

I took my paintings to artist Darryl today for advice and guidance. We had a 4 hour session and it was mental gymnastics, but now I know how to avoid the drawing errors I have been making to date. Well... I know it in theory and I'll practise tomorrow.

I made it to yoga early this morning, too. Hard hard hard. Love it.

oomm my goddess!

2010-01-21T22:38:00.002+11:00

Peter recommended yoga and I ran with it. I have to get ready for shoulder surgery in February - I need to be stronger and fitter and there isn't much time between now and then. I've been walking around Sydney Park and have mounted the exercise bike that has been acting as a sculpture for more than a year. But I haven't been playing in the ocean much this summer. That's always great exercise and a love of mine and I'll get into it this weekend.

So... yoga. It is so hard!!! Have enrolled in unlimited classes for a fortnight and apart from this morning's mishap with sleeping through the alarm (thanks to being awake until around 4:30am), I've been up early and there on most days. It is making me strong. The benefits have been immediate and noted by Allan the osteopath when I attended my latest appointment. I didn't really need to see him afterall.

I have to say I'm so impressed with people who can kneel on the backs of their arms.

The Book of Everything

2010-01-20T22:50:00.004+11:00

The last play in my 2009 subscription to the Belvoir Street Theatre was the delightful The Book of Everything, directed by Neil Armfield. It is for kiddies and adults, it's well acted, very easy to be with and runs until the end of January. Loved it.

Oh! That's right, the lap band...

2010-01-15T19:12:00.008+11:00

Thought I'd better do a band post, as that was the original intention of this blog. Last year was tricky. I spent most of the year with the band too tight. The worst side effect I mentioned in my last post - esophageal spasms. Horrible. Mine start with a really intense pain in the back of my throat in the middle of the night. Throat cancer? 30 seconds later I'd have an almighty pain in my upper back. A heart attack?

A drink, especially of milk, would instantly alleviate it. Instantly. But I don't like drinking a glass of milk. Water does the trick too, but slightly less convincingly.

After 5 of these special events I went to the doctor convinced I had smoked myself into throat cancer. No - it was gastroesophageal reflux. The doc rang my lap band surgeon, Dr I, who confirmed it as a common side effect of a band too tight. The conversation was brief, of course... It went something like - "put her on Nexium and send her in to get the band loosened".

I had a mil taken out - that left me with 3.5mil I think. The Nexium for a month was pretty useless - in fact, I felt nauseous all day on them. I was having less severe but ongoing attacks. I tried Somac and have settled on Pariet.

It wasn't gone. I wasn't back to normal. I had gastric juices too often in the back of my throat. So I decided to get the band completely loosened for a month or so to allow the mechanics to return to normal and for my esophagus and vocal cords to heal. Dr I was impossible to talk to and I needed to know what the story was. What was happening? What could I expect to happen? What has worked with other people? Is there anything else I could be doing? Long term impact of GER? He is just so reluctant to speak at all. He almost freaks out. He just wants to do the band adjustment and for there to be nil conversation. Pest.

That was 4 weeks ago and it still isn't perfect - fewer occurrences at the back of my throat, but it still is almost every day. It also affects my singing. And I'm not restricted so am noticing the weight creeping back on. Haven't weighed myself and won't bother. I know what I have to do.

Long time no write

2010-01-13T22:49:00.022+11:00

I was surprised to see that my last post was so long ago. So much happened in 2009 but I think I just have to let that go or for bits of it to emerge in my 2010 writings. I'm sure they will. A year of band adjustments in and out, too tight led to esophageal spasms and gastric juices burning my throat and vocal cords, with searing pain into my upper back that I had to learn to breathe into until it subsided. A glass of milk helps but who feels like that in the middle of the night? Lesson - do not have the band too tight!

2009 - In summary, the first 5 days of January were a bit shocking but after the previous horrible weeks at work, I just dissociated from it as best as I could and rang Enrique. I look at my wall calendar for January and it was so social. A strategy for dealing with confusion.

but...The USA made me happy.

February saw me rescued from a work nightmare by my ex-manager Jacqui. Bless her! She was so good - delighted that I was on the market and available. We both couldn't believe our luck. I'm ready for another intervention - I want a fantastic job in 2010 - something big and bold. It is hard to hang on to your excitement and notion of what could be, when you are immersed in the conventional and conservative. But... It's not all bad. I have a lot of freedom if I stay upwind from the sadist.

February saw two of the three 2009 weddings. First was B and G, married in a fantastic Maronite church on the hottest day ever. The reception was just so amazing - it even had fireworks as the MC ushered in each pair of significance culminating in the bride and groom, on the dance floor, expressing their love and joy in an amazing dance. I captured it on film and will, yes I will, produce a movie for them.

An amazing Maronite wedding one weekend and an amazing Jewish one the next. Josh and Candice's wedding was so wild. I'd never been to a Jewish wedding before and fuck me dead, it was so incredible! I'll never forget it. The rituals started from the first moment and I just was there with jaw dropped. From the beginning until the end. Not a dull moment. After the actual marriage, readings and glass crushing, the parents of the bride and my friends, the parents of the groom, Sue and Maurie were thrown into the air several times. As were the happy couple. I think Candice had to have a vomit break at some stage! She and Josh were thrown around on chairs until the barrier between the men and women came down and the dancing merged. That's just a fraction of it. And the incredible band that played! Another film to be edited...

W and Hine - a love story.

March - I have to look at my Leunig calendar... what happened in March? Work, Karen visited from New York. I'll blog about NY and Karen separately. I went to Vietnam in March. With Elaine and Kath. It was terrific. We saw some of the work APHEDA does there with trafficked women who have managed to escape eventually, but not with their babies. Beautiful, clever, hardworking country. Loved it there. Victoria's bollywood party at the end of the month was a hoot.

Vietnam

Bronwyn readying herself for a wedding dress fitting

April - Beautiful Bride Bronwyn. We had a great time searching out bride and bridesmaid material and meeting up for fittings etc. My dear pal from Social Security days married Charles and their 5 year old Luke also had a starring role later, on the dance floor. As bridesmaid I gathered stories of Bronwyn from all parts of her life and pieced them together in a speech. Once I worked out that I could just read it out (expressively and with pauses - thank you for those tips Rosie - so wise at 13), I relaxed. It was good fun. The wedding was just fantastic.

Everyone seemed to have an extra great time that night (? teens) Some of the best shots from the night were taken by the children.

May - Facilitated a couple of community things. Hard working, dedicated souls. Our society would benefit from more money going their way! I was on the road for work constantly, delivering Motivational Interactions training, which is about how people change. It was really interesting. A friend from Germany came to stay. RIP cousin Patricia. She was too young to die.

June - work, travel had a party with James and Graeme in there somewhere. That was good. Dr. Petchell told me I had to have shoulder surgery. Damn! The injury had happened in the previous +1 November when, during the move from the city to Parramatta offices, my loaded wheelie bin wheel got caught on the annoying doors put in to thwart Osama Bin Laden.
June long weekend - Annie's amazing wedding cake bake-off entry. It was the best!

July - Sarah and I went to the Blue Mountains for a long bush walk. Gee it was hard.

Family funerals ...old family snaps emerge. Mero and Phyllis back L married for a long long time and died within a month of each other. Cousin Patricia as a child standing next to my father (seated). Aunty Rosie seated on the other side of nanna looking awfully like my sister Sandra. Aunty Ev on the other side of dad.

August - Rosemary's birthday. Lots of events this month. It was a good turning point for the year triggered by a vindicating email. A wrong righted. My confidence was still very shot from the wrong and, with a history of mixed messages and no words, I was unable to comprehend what was before me. I chose to go to the school quiz night then and did something similar weeks later in New York.
Blurred snap of uni friends gathered for Rosemary's birthday

September - was mind blowing. New York for three weeks. Later blog postings to come. I did get word of the massive dust storms.
Broken Hill dusted!

October - applied for a Green Card, commenced an introduction to art course and started writing something that may become something. Painted my Guggenheim which now hangs on the wall and I love it. Discovered twitter. Tried to honour Frank Lloyd Wright with my loungeroom changes. Renovated the spare room/office. Social.

My Guggenheim

November - Very social. Got into a carriageworks market rhythm with Gabe on Saturday mornings. Made attempt #2 at Tai Chi. Wan teacher. I think he needs a steak or at least an iron supplement. It was so bad that it was funny... "Cut me an extra move, Man! I've nailed that ever so slight foot movement". Louise, Diane and I abandoned the classes for wine at a nearby restaurant. Art, Germaine, Larissa and a party at my place, which was great fun: recommending 4- 7pm as a pretty good party time slot.

At Brighton Jetty December 2009 (actually, I have made a few adjustments since this snap - will update later)

December - It is funny going through the calendar when the year has ended. I can report that I had 15 periods in 2009!

Full!

2009-01-29T23:42:00.002+11:00

Dr. I was slightly more communicative than he has been but he really doesn't want to talk at all. Still, you have to credit him with being able to mind read because, as with my first experience with him, you draw breath to speak and before you can, he answers accurately (although without enough elaboration for my complete satisfaction - but that's me wasting time and words. That's my learning from him... I'm very wasteful with words).

He drew out the liquid within the band to date and reported that I don't have a leak. Well that's a HUGE relief, because otherwise it would've meant another trip to the operating theatre. He then gave me an extra ml of fill. Before he would let me escape the x-ray table, I had to drink a cup of water, slowly... and it had to go down. That didn't work. It felt like a fist passing down my esophagus, and then it wanted to come right back up and out. He made me hold it while he took half the fill out and then required me to swallow what I had carefully been holding in my mouth! It was awful and funny. He is soooo matter of fact and just not interested in hearing anything about it because he has already heard about it before so don't pester him with your version of it, OK? Right. I still felt like throwing up. I had to sit in the waiting room and gradually consume a cup of water. If it didn't go down, he'd extract that pathetic little half serve right back. 30 minutes later I believed I'd be fine and left for Bondi.

Why Bondi? Well... because Miss Wednesday started school today! She looked fantastic in her uniform and proudly showed me her socks and shoes. As I wasn't at the beach, I took photos and made films and all the little gorgeouses were there on their first day of big school. Bronwyn and Charle's Luke cried and was comforted by another little boy. What a big thing it is. Wednesday followed the instructions and made her way to the classroom and found her name on the table, picked it up and beamed proudly. No wonder my fill was too much - I think my emotions had somehow made their way into my band!

Wednesday seemed to have had a good day. The worst thing she had to report was throwing her sandwich into the sandpit. John and Trish will definitely not make the mistake of packing Wednesday's lunch into her old lunchbox again!

The day aslo included encounters with the brilliant and wise Margaret, prepping me for a job interview (will I be able to conquer my pointless self doubt for the duration of an interview?) and lunch with Rosemary (will she lose her job next Monday?). A big day.

Tricky business, this band

2009-01-27T21:31:00.002+11:00

For the first 4 days I could notice the impact of the fill. Great! I was back to dealing with the wound - failing in my attempts to find a way into and out of bed without particularly engaging my abdominal muscles. But it was only for a few days.

I returned to work on Wednesday (2 days after the operation) and found that easy. I had plenty of energy. On Friday night Susan and Paul arrived from Broken Hill for the Neil Young concert on Saturday. It was in dining out that night that I first noticed the loss of effectiveness of the band. I couldn't feel a thing. I have an appointment on Thursday this week with the surgeon. I'm wondering if I have a faulty band.

I'll have to trawl through the chat pages to see if this is a normal experience... groan.

Wowser

2009-01-19T23:44:00.011+11:00

From Wikipedia:

The Australian writer C.J. Dennis defined it thus: 'Wowser: an ineffably pious person who mistakes this world for a penitentiary and himself for a warder'.

Historian Stuart Macintyre argues, "the achievements of the wowsers were impressive;" they passed laws that restricted obscenity and juvenile smoking, raised the age of consent, limited gambling, closed down many pubs, and in 1915-16 established a 6pm closing hour for pubs, which lasted for decades.

Michael and I can add to that list, the pleasure of taking photos at the beach. We have snaps that map our beach adventures and bathing costumes stretching back for years - gorgeous snaps of us and the beach at various times of the day and levels of light etc. And have several of us in the surf thanks to the underwater camera. What has been so much fun and an unspoken tradition, has now been soiled.

Even during the shock of it all, I did feel sorry for the young beach official who approached us with the complaint from the public (OK - there was some kind of surf lifesaving meet there on Sunday - lots of kiddies around). He was embarrassed. Do people seriously think some paedophile is going to be thwarted by prohibiting happy snaps at the beach? Did they really have concerns that we may be people preying on children? Did they want to inspect the photos? No. Neither the complainer nor the beach official felt any need for the photos to be inspected. The complaint was made by a puny wowser.

Port fixed

2009-01-19T22:52:00.006+11:00

In my first blog entry I conveyed how uncommunicative the surgeon is and nothing has changed on that front. I was released a few hours after surgery with nothing to indicate a failed intervention, so I am assuming all is well.

I regretted not drinking heaps and heaps of water before I went to bed last night because had I done so I would not be sporting a large blue, red, purple and pink mottled bruise from attempt no. 2 to find a vein for the cannula. There were 3 horrible failed attempts on my left arm and hand before he moved to the right. This is actually the worst part of surgery for me - the cannula. It is just awful getting it and then awful having it tug no matter how gingerly you move.

Drink up the night before surgery is my advice. And apply your sunscreen even if you are swimming at the beach at 9am. Rocking in for surgery the next day sunburnt and dehydrated is not recommended.

Nurse Carole from Glasgow was just fabulous and hilarious. "Pet" she called me. I had a great time with her and Mark and Jason before the cannula experience and that hideous moment in the operating theatre when it is all about to happen. Maureen on the front counter was another story though. There was a sign up indicating she had once (a long, long time ago I suspect) won an award for being helpful but now seems to resent the role. Still, she was polite and did the minimum and I wasn't needing anything extra.

Enrique collected me and we had an adventure at Marrickville Metro and King St before heading home. By the time we got home I had recovered from my attempt to consume what looked like a dear little baby gyoza but was, in fact, an evil monster that had me frothing (true!). You've got to love a Cuban - they just don't start vomiting when you do and are unfazed by this happening on the street.

Enrique is such a great cook - this time it was a careful and beautiful use of spices, wine and limes with lamb. And when it was finally done he smashed it all to smithereens for me. So sweet.

I'll be able to report properly on the port problem and what happened today after my appointment with Dr. I on 29th January. My next post, however is going to be about the wowsers at the beach yesterday...

Too much TV

2009-01-18T07:28:00.006+11:00

The trouble with watching a whole series in one or so hits is that you can find yourself dreaming about it or at least absorbing the emotions in big hits. In the case of Mad Men there is a lot to worry about - the fear of a nuclear attack, the vexed relationships, wanted and unwanted pregnancies... I remember similar experiences during my West Wing infatuation. On some days how I felt was determined by the state of play with potus and the gang, at least for the first hour or so.

300,000 people have sent their resumes to Obama! (An encouraging 260,000 more than Bush had received). Maybe things will be alright - we have to make some big progress now surely! It would be an amazing time to work at the white house... in there with CJ and Josh... maybe I'll send in my resume - that'd be funny.

Silent Scream

2009-01-14T08:14:00.005+11:00

I've been really really ready for this first fill for weeks. Finally the day arrived and I presented myself to the surgeon. Under x-ray, the surgeon locates the port, inserts the syringe and administers 3mls of saline to the band. It tightens, thereby restricting the pace that food can pass from the top to the bottom of your stomach. You register "full" when the food is in the top part of your stomach.

Ok - I hop up onto the x-ray table, receive my first dose of radiation for the morning, then another and another as the surgeon tries to insert the syringe into the port. Did you feel the band tighten? I'm not sure, I don't think so...(I've never been able to answer those questions asked by doctors or optometrists and get nervous when their next action depends upon an accurate answer from me...). More x-rays (I lost count) and attempts by the surgeon to find the way in. A squirt of dye confirmed his suspicions that the port was not accessible. Surgery next Monday.

I'm not comforted by the expanations of how simple and quick the operation will be, it is just under the surface of your skin and that its nothing to worry about blah blah blah. I still have to go through the ordeal of having one of those butterfly things inserted into my hand and endure the lead up to the operation. The operation itself doesn't bother me too much - I just want to be unconscious for the bits I have to be conscious for.

Holiday time

2009-01-12T14:55:00.014+11:00

I'm in need of "a fill" - band talk for the tightening of the band. That is set down for 13 January and I'm looking forward to it. I feel very little restriction these days, which is disappointing. I've passed responsibility for my weight loss on to this expensive piece of silicon and it needs to get cracking! I wonder what life after the fill will be like because life before it is increasingly normal. I want abnormal and I want it now! I don't want to have to intervene...

I've been on leave for 3 weeks and have adjusted to it very nicely. I have pink hair! I did that straight after work with the hair gang. Lynne brings her hair stuff to one of our houses and we spend around 5 hours banging on to each other about Lynne's dramatic life, politics, various op eds and other items from the weekend papers, the antics of the children, the antics of the adults...and hair. The usual cluster includes Jo-anne, Trish, John, Annie and kids Rosie, Ella, Wednesday and Belle with Lynne driving. The Christmas event is always a lot of fun with guests and gifts. Kit was there, Bronwyn and Luke called in.

Christmas in Broken Hill is still good but not nearly as much fun as it was when the children were children. They were all born between 1982 and 1995 and made Christmas a complete joy for many years. We share hilarious memories and watch, as the stories start, the young adults laugh, blush, roll their eyes or cringe (despite the absence of any obvious cringe-factor) or make corrections to the course of events. Those fantastic days when mum and dad were alive (and at opposite ends of the room), Susan and Paul giving birth every 2 years, Sandra giving us a new husband every so often, Rossy coping with the inevitable jigsaw puzzle gift, everyone taking turns at being on Linda duty, Didy feeling eternal annoyance at being number 6 but, Christmas has never looked as good as the days when Didy would get so much pleasure out of making it beautiful!

Now Bullup (Phillip) is engaged! Shah (Sara), H (Hayley) and James (how did he miss out on the childish mispronunciation of his name carrying through to 2009?) study in Adelaide, Adelberry (Adrian) is studying in BH, helping to run a club and he has a band, Joey hops into the bank and is a gorgeous and polite teller for the customers, Steph works the cash register at the Star, as Didy and I too once did for uni holiday jobs. Diety is being 13 and cannot currently be dragged away from the guitar playing game on an x-box type thing. He’s very good at it!

There were some missing and some additions this xmas. Sandra remained in Adelaide, took the double pay on offer and nursed her way through the days and Dieter stayed in Adelaide too. Didy, who hasn’t made it for several years but we live in hope, was instead trekking in Tassie. H spent this time with Noo-Noo and Naa-Naa. However, the numbers at the table were stable – we had Aunty Ev visiting from Gosford, Aunty Rosie came (we either have Sandra or Aunty Rosie…never, ever, ever the two together) and our new family member delight, Katie!

I stayed with Rossy as usual. We spent our time together reading, doing puzzles and unravelling the year that was. I read a book called Jamaica that a friend had given me for entertainment after my surgery. I did keep turning the pages but the characters and relationships were horrible. It was riddled with cruel and competitive relationships and haplessness. I was interested because it was describing dynamics within the business world and it didn’t really surprise me. I’ve seen and experienced similar in my working world too.

Aunty Ev and I were disappointed by the film Australia. Big title, undeserved but it wasn’t too painful, it was just …disappointing. Diety arrived in BH after xmas so I took him to see some kiddie film. The cinema in Broken Hill is not to be missed, wholly because of the wonderful man who runs it (definitely not for the comfort of the seats). Against terrible health related odds and with twisted body, he welcomes you with humility, gentleness and humour. You just find yourself moving off the spring rather than feeling angry and ripped off.

Back in Sydney, my pink hair found good company at the Sydney Cricket ground for day 2 of the final test against Sth Africa. We had good seats in the ladies stand and once again the tail wagged. To the amusement of those around us, Peter suggested we replace the batsmen with bowlers. Jeff on my other side, was handy with the radio commentary to supplement the naked eye. I was able to draw upon the sad death to breast cancer of Jane McGrath as an explanation for the pink hair to the Chinese delegation for whom I was delivering a training session the following day. I made a donation to the McGrath Foundation.

Loved Slum Dog Millionaire and Frost/Nixon. I’ve watched the whole of season 1 Mad Men, caught up with Jo, Annie and Meredith, Gabe, Diane and Louise, Elaine and Kath, Helen, Brendan, Michael, Victoria, Kevin, Marie, Alison, Bronwyn and Luke, Manfred via Skype, celebrated Diane’s birthday, been to neighbour Diana's father's wake and I have missed Wednesday, John and Trish. I’ll catch up with Rosemary, Cinzia, another Helen, Tex, Sandra and Sandrine in the next week or so. Jan is coming to stay for a few days, so that has been the impetus for throwing out a whole lot stuff and cleaning the place well. That’s my holiday so far, full of friends and more to come.

A highlight of my current holiday is the planning of my next one - to Vietnam in March with Elaine and Kath for 2 weeks and another to New Zealand later in the year for Rossy’s 50th birthday. We now have the tradition of the sisters going overseas together for our 50ths and hopefully Didy will be free for this next trip. In their unthwarted quest for the Palestinian Solution, Israel could well put an end to our 2010 plans.

I'm bad at me blog

2008-12-07T20:07:00.003+11:00

Can I blame a return to work as the reason I'm bad at me blog? Thanks, I knew you'd understand.

It is 7 December and I'm feeling a bit icky due to the consumption of lots of chocolate (don't panic - I'm not about to develop a chocolate addiction as a way to thwart this obesity cure!). My steri strips are off and my incisions are itchy and life is feeling normal again. I went to the dietitian and am onto pureed foods for 1 more week, and then ...hurray!!! Food with lumps!!!! I can't wait. (OK...I confess to a foray into this world of lumps on a few occasions.... eg today I scissored into minute particles - almost defying the human eye - turkey, tomatoes, rocket on bread with mayonnaise, avocado and dressed with lemon, garlic and olive oil...).

Work has been full on but is no longer - I feel so relaxed now that the interview for my job has passed as has most of the training year. Now it is filing and clean-up time, paper and email culling and planning for 2009.

The barefoot bowls Christmas party was hilarious - organised by the gen Y's... there was no real food there! Just chips and corn chips. I had plenty and my band seemed ok about it. I wasn't ok about it though - I hardly eat anything therefore I want it to be mostly good. I got home at 11pm and had 2 tablespoons of the liquid vitamins.

I have lost weight. I'm not sure how much but about 8 or so kilos. According to my own cheap, very old and I suspect, inaccurate, scales I have lost 1.5 stone. I'll know when I have my appointment with Dr. I, probably after xmas. I feel good. Aunty Ev said that I look "less puffy" and instead of rolling their eyes with me when I ran that past a colleague, they said "true! you do!' hmmm.... so I was looking puffy, was I?

I actually think I look pale. Filmmaker friend Michael (as opposed to earlier mentioned Michael) said my voice is higher since the surgery! Independent of the surgery I have noticed that my singing range is deepening - I don't seem to be able to reach those high notes these days. Will a pleasing added bonus of the band be the restoration of my range?

As my pal Victoria has noted, me blog is becoming less about the band and more about my life. I guess it has to because I am not prepared to go down the path of other banding blogs and track my weight and BMI for all to see. Nor include before and after snaps (in some of the blogs on line I believe them when they say they've lost x lbs, but I can't see it and find the photos cringe-making on the whole). I thought the snap of my wounds was enough! I could update that photo... yes... I'll do that for next time. I'd like the little bit of scab to drop off first - wouldn't you like that too?

I've also found some simple photos of the procedure to put here. The first pic is of the actual band -I don't know which one I have. You'll see in the second picture that there is a port through which the surgeon (at about the 6 week mark) uses a syringe to squirt in saline which makes the band tighten.

This time last week...

2008-11-24T21:39:00.004+11:00

Actually, I was fine this time last week. Maybe in a bit o' shock having actually "done it". John, Trish and Wednesday had been in to visit, as had old William of the Sea Spray.

I learnt a great trick today. It is the skill of turning cheese into a liquid in my mouth, thus fulfilling my desire for another source of protein beyond the dreaded Optifast shake. Mersey Vale cheese. Crumbly and delicious...melts in your mouth! Later, I stirred some into my hot carrot and coriander soup...

Today is dressing removal day. That was fine on the 4 small incisions but on the big one, the steri strips are attached to the plastic covering. That means when I take it off, the strips will come off with it and I'm not happy about that. It is inevitable though, so I aborted that mission and went to Marrickville Metro to purchase some steri strips. I'll grit my teeth and remove that last dressing tomorrow.

I felt kind of dizzy at the shopping centre. Post steri strip purchase, I was walking toward the telecommunications shop to argue about my deal when I realised that I was possibly going to faint. I was at the step before you think you are going to faint, if you know what I mean. I had foolishly ignored my need for a nap this afternoon. God knows I'll be back at work in 2 days time and a nap will be completely out of the question.

I've now confirmed that I get the shoulder pain when I drink. As soon as I swallow. It'll dissipate as I heal. Last night I watched several videos of the surgery on You Tube. Amazing! How clever the surgeon is to find their way through all of that same looking tissue, place the band, sew... just manoeuvring those instruments so precisely.

My viewing was interrupted by a call from Manfred on skype from Berlin. I love skype! I only discovered it properly for Louise and Diane's great European adventure, which is happening right now. It has been so much fun talking to them, having a tour of their apartment and looking out of their window in London. It would be even more fun if they were to call from Rome tomorrow.

Manfred and I planned 50th birthday celebrations in Beirut in 2010. He suggested a great place called ol pejeta in Kenya as a back-up should Israel be up to its old tricks again.

Michael called in late this afternoon and moved this and that around until I located my 1985 travel diary. It is a colourful montage exercise book absolutely bursting with poste restante letters and tickets and maps and little bits and pieces from my 9 month trip. My writing is so different! Really tiny and neat, impossible to read with these 47 year old eyes (Ok - 48 year old ones tomorrow). The writing became progressively smaller as the number of available pages diminished. I'll need to apply my magnifying glass to it tomorrow and see what I had to say about Belfast. I want to find that map...

Day 6 - Hunger

2008-11-23T10:01:00.005+11:00

I'm feeling fine - a bit bored with it all really. My wounds are itchy and I've had an allergic reaction to the plastic wound cover on one. No big deal. Just itchy red lumps. I still have a sense of a stitch in my left side, although it feels a bit higher - right where I imagine the band to be. My shoulder pain is lessening. My stomach is still swollen. My mouth is still stale. I feel dehydrated - I'll sip water all day today.

Last night I did actually fulfil my laksa fantasy. I bought a wonton laksa and pulverised it, watered it down to a thin soup consistency and had it. Heaven! I have many more servings left. 1 laksa = 6 meals, I reckon. I am hanging out for normal meals. Even several sips of water feels uncomfortable a bit, so I have a fair bit of healing to do internally I think.

I saw the film Hunger yesterday with Tex. It was harrowing but good. I'm glad those days in Ireland are gone. I recall going to Belfast in 1985, calling in to the tourist information centre for a map. I specifically wanted to walk around the falls rd area - Bobby Sands and the others had died only a few years earlier and things were still awful. I was interrogated - who did I know in Ireland, why was I there, where was I going in Belfast, who am I going to be meeting...was I sure I didn't know anyone? It was really full on. I was just a 24 year old twit from Australia on an adventure and I didn't have a detailed map of Belfast!

I didn't declare knowing Mary who I'd met in a youth hostel in Austria under funny circumstances a few months earlier. I was on my way to Dublin to meet up with her again (but would I remember what she looked like?).

I was given a map, said thanks and went to a vegan cafe (yes - that was a food nightmare - travelling with vegan Bruce! He was completely delightful but it was hard being supportive on the vegan front in 1985, let me tell you!). I must dig that map out. We couldn't find the Falls Rd. The cafe owner - a nice left-wing type looked at our map and declared it was incomplete. They had blanked out whole parts of Belfast!

We followed the cafe version of the blanked out areas, found the Maze Prison but didn't hang around because there were guns pointing at us. Walked to the catholic parts and took pictures of the slogans and political art work. I'll dig those snaps out later and look at them again.

And I did successfully meet up with Mary a week or so later in Dublin. That was fantastic.

Day 5 - Wound drama

2008-11-22T12:57:00.004+11:00

I woke to my neighbour Jane calling. She wanted a lift to the nursery. My abdomen muscles aren't quite up to driving yet and she didn't want to borrow the car. "How are your wounds?", I lifted my "Your Rights at Work" pink t-shirt and became instantly horrified. There was yellow and green liquid on my main wound!

The doctor cleaned it and reassured me that it wasn't infected. It's normal to have yellow and green tinged juice - wounds go through healing stages in the same colour range as bruises.

I did take the opportunity though, to alert the clinic that their nurse may need to update her infection control knowledge and practices. The other day she changed my dressings without washing her hands after being on the telephone. Bare hands, she used the 1 swab to clean all five sites, then handled the steri strips until I asked her why she wasn't wearing gloves. She finds it easier to put the steri strips on without them. She did then find some forceps to lay the rest of the strips over my wound. That didn't reassure me at all. They weren't sterilised. Anyway, she was very friendly and chattered over my open wounds. I imagined seeing all the little germs sailing from her mouth and settling on my wounds...

So despite that, all was well with me and my wounds. The dressings come off on Monday and I'm looking forward to that.

Day 4

2008-11-21T12:58:00.004+11:00

I slept on my left side last night - that was good. I still have the side and shoulder stitch happening but less so. What else? I'm finding that if I slouch while sitting, I feel an internal pull when I stand upright or walk. Not pleasant but not painful. I didn't have painkillers yesterday nor will I today- I think that part of my recovery is over. Tick.

I'm not moving so gingerly - I'm feeling bolder! I'll go for a walk in a minute.

I'm hungrier - fantasising about taking my blender up to the Happy Chef, pulverising a laksa and sucking it up through a straw. I feel like I could! I won't - just a protein shake, a little mushroom soup and plenty of water for me today.

I think I do need more water. I have an unpleasant creamy coating on my tongue. My teeth have also been coated several times but that's nothing the toothbrush hasn't been able to deal with. I think it is the optifast vanilla shake...

It's day 3

2008-11-20T22:24:00.004+11:00

Well... it is 10:30pm on Wednesday 20 November 2008. 15 months after the inkling that I may have the silicon lap banding surgery, it has happened and I'm going to share my experience. It took 15 months because I had to get health cover after I discovered it costs something like $16,000 without it!

I hadn't planned on a blog, but after several frustrating attempts to find the answers to my questions (both pre and post surgery), I thought I'd do my bit for those to come.

Right now I have what feels like a stitch in my left side, roughly in line with my navel. On inhalation, the stitch travels from there to just under and above my left collarbone and back again on exhalation. All bearable. No pain killers today.

Ok - I'll start from a few weeks back. I researched the surgeons close to where I live and made an appointment with one. The receptionist was a bit useless and after a few failed attempts to get through for some information I needed, I changed to another nearby. We'll call him Dr.Pleasedon'tspeaktome,I'vetoldyouwhatIwanttotellyou,becontentwiththat, or Dr. I for short.

Dr.I has a great receptionist and as you can guess, that is of some importance to me. All good. Dr. I tolerated my questions. Well.. they'd be half way out and he'd present me with a model, handout, chart or kitchen item that had the answer I'd be looking for. There was a stomach replica with silicon band to touch and explore, a plate with imprinted future portion sizes, a handout with the contact names and numbers for others I could speak to, another with his surgery statistics, one with the costs broken down, a fridge magnet, a choice of hospitals and instructions for me to follow. I booked in.

I had to get a chest x-ray, full blood count and an ecg. I had an appointment with the dietician 2 weeks out and immediately had to start on a meal replacement diet to get my liver into shape for the operation. That was bad. I love food and I had a whole range of meals mapped out to take me up to the surgery date... never mind.

I found the Optifast ok at first but by day 6 I was wanting some real food badly. I had supplemented it with steamed veggies but... it really wasn't enough. I pined for a lamb chop, mashed potatoes...sausage in bread with tomato sauce...a lebanese meal...the list was long. The fibre supplement didn't live up to its promises. I was starving about 1.5 hours after each optifast meal. Don't buy the optifast soups - they are completely unacceptable. The best of it is the vanilla shake, the berry bar and the chocolate bar. The chocolate dessert was OK too. There are some alternatives - ones that are less sweet. I found the optifast all too sweet (but bearable for a short time). Isowhey is much better.

I called the dietician and was able to go out for a high protein/lowcarb meal. I did that twice more over the fortnight.

Blood tests, xray, ECG (oops...forgot that one but they did it at the hospital). Met the anaesthetist the day before and we sorted out this and that. I arrived at the hospital at 6:45am all fasted. Had the ECG, a needle and ...it all just happened. Painless really. I loved that post operation in and out of sleep all day feeling. Felt terrific and relaxed. Needles galore, visitors, out of bed and walk with my drip. Managed not to cough or sneeze - that would've been bad.

I examined my abdomen. It was swollen and had one big and 4 small cuts with steri-strips and a plastic cover on each (filled with blood, I might add). My stomach was so swollen and I didn't want to engage my stomach muscles at all. The nurses worked hard and even though I don't know exactly how much the earn... it isn't enough. Hard, hard work and we need them.

In hospital they fed me a small amount of clear broth and an small container of orange juice. There was plenty of water to sip. Watched "Looking for Mr Goodbar" on tele at 4am...

The surgeon called in with one leg in and the other leg outside the door. He really didn't want to be there. He mumbled a few things and then escaped as I drew breath to ask a question. I'll be seeing him in 6 weeks... but that's Christmas, so I guess I'll see him in 5 weeks - is that right Dr. I?

I went home in the morning, filled a script for di gesic and settled in with the following instructions:

Sip small amounts of thin fluids. Remove your white pressure stockings for the shower but put them straight back on (they are awful things) to prevent blood clots. Remove your dressings in about a week.

I have been hungry and dry. When I drink (slowly) the pain under my collarbone increases.

I went to my local GP today. He talked to me about the shoulder pain as referred pain from the abdomen, that the gas they used to inflate my stomach will gradually be absorbed (that's what I think the shoulder pain is - it feels like an air bubble). I was worried about my wet wounds, so I had the dressings changed.

I find that it has been hard getting into bed. I haven't been able to sleep on my side yet. Maybe tonight.

What else can I tell you... the surgeon was $4600 after health fund, the anaesthetist was $1500. I haven't been to medicare yet but apparently will be refunded about $1500.

I am sore but Ok. Feel swollen and gurgling. Hungry, thirsty, tired. I'm glad I have 10 days off work.

I have a snap of my wounds to put with this blog, but I'll have to wait for my pal and long-term blogger Gabriel to come over tomorrow and show me how.

You can call me Hine and I live in Australia.